COVID-19 has put the kibosh on any number of haunted houses this Halloween season. But folks craving a scare can still get their scream on. Venues in Maryland and NoVa are offering drive-thru hauntings — a uniquely stressful affair that combines the thrill of being chased by chainsaw-wielding cannibal clowns with the anxiety of trying not to run anyone over.

Very similar to the kind of affair that combines the fear and potential awkwardness of interviewing over Zoom with the anxiety of the Wi-Fi cutting out, freezing on a frame of your face stuck in an unflattering expression. And it just sits there, endlessly, like a chainsaw-wielding career cannibal.

But let’s think positively, shall we? Onto the jobs!

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