Ghosts may haunt the old walnut-and-marble halls of our nation’s capital, but curses abound in far more prosaic locations — from the gloom and despair pervading Gate 35X at Reagan National Airport, to the mysterious forces frustrating Red Line trains from seemingly ever arriving on time, to the supernatural super-hangover from a night at Dan’s Cafe (lest non-locals think otherwise, the diviest of dive bars where liquor is served in ketchup squeeze-bottles).

And that doesn’t even include D.C.’s near-biblical rush hour traffic.

So, yes, D.C. is definitely cursed. Luckily for you, we smudged this week’s list of jobs so they’re clean.

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